Are you or are you not? In a relationship. With whom or what? It does not matter. Maybe it is a friend, a partner, a relative, a coach, language, grammar, a pet, a tree, a star, the sky – basically you can be in relation to everything.
What matters is the effect and with that the role.
You are on a trail. You walk with someone or something. You hold hands, you talk to each other, you discuss or argue topics before you go together right or left, up or down. Or you do not find a compromise and one of you follows. The single heart says straight, left or hold on I want to enjoy the moment, this beautiful bliss in my heart. The related part says or shows something else. You agree because you have this relationship. And the relationship guides you. In a relationship partners connect in different aspects of the “yous”. There is something in common and that makes you holding hands and exchanging. Furthermore you exchange the aspects that separate you. One says up, the other down, one says left, the other right, on says ocean, the other mountains, one says Mars, the other Venus. When one wants to have a calm moment the other one wants to dance to Massive Attack.
May be you think it is disrespectful not to follow, not to say yes that’s the way. May be you agree to things you would never agree. May be both of you constantly try to satisfy the other one.
Where is your life?
In the moments of decision you take over the other ones habits, clusters, attitudes. You get a prisoner in yourself. The relationship creates roles, you become a role and identify with that role. Of course you have more than this role. You play one role or many roles. And every time you play a role, a part of yourself you collapse into reality. Just imagine what kind of archetype you are with your mum or with a friend or with the one you are sharing the most intimacy.
What part do you play?
Maybe this is just a cluster you are already sitting in and it is repeating. It is repeating as long as you need to get the message. But this is getting too complicated now.
Let’s keep it simple. This has a meaning to any situation.
Your life lies in your hands and sometimes you share a hand with someone while you walk. You can build something on your own and you can build something together. You can get guidance by the other hand. You can be manipulated by the other hand.
It means you have three to four options on a junction.
And it all comes down to creation. Creative life.
In a fusion with someone else you create together as long as it needs to suit both of you. This includes all aspects you and your partner are oneness. Finally this touches all the other aspects. You grow into each other and fusion. Nevertheless you feel free in your choices. You feel free at all.
But what if you feel uncomfortable? If you feel trapped? If the situation you are in does not feel right or the discussion about is for you hard to stand? Create for yourself. And take the other one on board. Let’s say it in other words. If someone sings high, sing low if it really suits you. But if it feels right keep on doing. Furthermore if you sing high with the knowing you are stepping into someone else’s song and mood you are not putting yourself in a dungeon. Or create something new on the blank page out of pure inspiration. This is the free way of creation. It inspires you and your partner.
You can play with matter, with life as with sand. It is the same play. You can build castles or dig holes, you can write messages or get covered by it. You can use water to make a massive, solid building. You can use fire to transform it into glass. You can use air to let it fly or flicker over the ocean.
You can feel a hand in yours like the boy in the picture does. First he holds hands with his dad when they step into the rough water. Than dad shows him how to act in the waves jumping up, diving down, falling into it. They laugh and the boy watches his father. He copies him until he is doing the first tries, the first new movements alone. They get closer and then they keep more distance. They feel free to do. They inspire each other and create a game of two in the waves of all.
In a relationship people can hold hands unnecessarily long. One or both hold onto it, press the hand(s) hard to stay together and not to lose the other part. Rough times can force it but there are other times. Times getting rough because you hold on. Times coursing damage in your system, building up habits that hold you together like a parent and a child that never is allowed to jump the waves by its own. You can learn even when it hurts and you separate. You can love even in the chaos of rough waters. A relationship is toxic when manipulated or in charge of one part. A relationship is more than this.
A relationship is a combination of guidance, support, lessons, exchange, fusion. Ask the sky.
Be life. Be creation.
How to do?
Breathe into your deepest and highest parts. Breathe into all of your cells for some minutes and ask yourself what you feel, what you want and don’t be afraid of honest answers. Love guides you and if you are in a relationship with love you can’t go wrong not even in compromises.
Being is loving. Creating is walking in love.
Love the relationship to your inner self.